To Serve or Not to Serve?

Twenty years go this summer my life changed directions. I was sitting on a small grassy hill enjoying the shade at Rancho Betania in Mexico and listening to Dave Roller give his daily devotional. He challenged us to really listen to God. God has a plan for all of us and for some of us that meant a career of Ministry. As clear as if lightning had flashed I knew he was talking about me. There were times I tried to fight it. I worked out a four-year-plan for almost every major in college before I settled on Christian Ministry.

I was great at science but the idea of a career in science always left me feeling empty. I have done quite a bit with photography and made some good money doing it but the idea of making that my life direction doesn't bring me joy. I am not saying that one can not minister for God in these areas but I knew God was asking me to do something else.

Most people who go into ministry know exactly what they want to do: be a missionary, be a pastor, be a worship leader. Me? I have always just stepped in where I was needed. I never had to figure out where to serve. The opportunities seemed to find me. Therefore, I never really prayed about whether I should serve in a particular area in the church. If a need arose and I was equipped, I helped. Lately this is becoming a problem. I have been feeling led away from church ministry and more toward a personal ministry God has given me, writing.

I wrote a Christian fiction novel and have been enduring the long process of trying to get it published. (I am sure the details will come out in later post since I'd rather not add a rabbit trail here.) So, back to my original question. To serve or not to serve?

When I hear about what needs are in the church my immediate response is, "I can help." Then the reality of what I have committed to appears in my calender and stress comes followed but the frustration that what I feel most passionate about suffers. A new friend told me the other day that her husband has the gift of service. A person with this gift often jumps in to help with out stopping to ask God if he or she should be the one to jump.

Lord, help me to serve You with a pure heart. Help me to spend my time and energy where You want me. For Your glory not for mine.